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EDITING SHAMROCK ROSE AND THISTLE Ancestors of Jean Elizabeth Mathews

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               Musings from an MS Sufferer in NZ
 
Sandi is a young New Zealand Mum (not a relative) who is among the many young people in New Zealand who suffer from Multiple Sclerosis.  She is a graphic designer living in the South Island of New Zealand.  She is a very talented young woman.
 
As a break from all this heavy family stuff, make yourself a coffee and enjoy an extract from her humourous??sp? "Fictionary".
 
Read on..........

 

  FICTIONARY (fic shun ary)
n. A collection of made up, or archaic words


 

  PORCULENT (pork u lent)
adj.
As fat as a Pig


  HURL (hurl)

  URP (urp)
n. & vt. vomit


  HURLACIOUS (hurl ay shus)

  URPACIOUS (urp ay shus)

  GAGACIOUS (gag ay shus)
adj. nauseating


  BUNKIN (bun kin)
adj. cuddle-able


  FRISBEETARIANISM (friz be tery a' nizm)
n. The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck


  PITYEST (pit i est)
adj. The most pitiful


  GLEEMITES (gle' mites)
n. Petrified deposits of toothpaste found in sinks


  VOWELITIS (vowl i tis)
n. The condition you get when you have next to no consonants (scrabble)


  ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid)
adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.


  AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus)
adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.


  AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um)
n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye (or ear).


  BURGACIDE (burg' uh side)
n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.


  BUZZACKS (buz' aks)
n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.


  CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun)
adj. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.


  DIMP (dimp)
n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"


  DISCONFECT (dis kon fect')
v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will remove all the germs.


  ECNALUBMA (ek na leb' ma)
n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rear view mirror.


  EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz)
n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter which direction you lean in, follow suit.


  ELBONICS (el bon icks')
n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.


  ELECELLERATON (el a cel er ay' shun)
n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.


  FRUST (frust)
n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.


  LACTOMANGULATION (lak to man gyu lay' shun)
v. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the illegal side.


  NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see)
n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.


  PEPPIER (pehp ee ay')
n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.


  PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik)
adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.


  PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh)
n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.


  PUPKUS (pup kus')
n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses it's nose to it.


  TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun)
n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, when you're only six inches away. 

 

              DOCSNEERIC (docks near ik)
adj. The feeling you get when your physician starts to bore you.


  MAGNOSPUTE (mag no spute)
n. That small mucous ball that builds up in back of your throat during an MRI.


  KNOBHOLLOW (nob hol oh)
n. A small hole or depression in the pavement.


  KNOBHOLLOWED (nob hol oh ed)
adj. That horrid moment when your cane goes in a Knobhollow.


  CROCKERASTINATION (croc er ast in ay shun)
adj. The feeling of relief when you manage to get the cup off the saucer despite your shaking hand.


  ELEPOCK (elly poc)
n. The small pinkish mark left by an EEG electrode


  ELEPOCKATED (elly poc ay tid)
adj. The effects of a 32 channel EEG


  GUMPER (gump er)
n. The irritating person who insists you should "sit down because you will feel better".

This next lot of words have come from an informal gathering (with wine.... in coffee cups)?


Make of them whatever you will

 

  SALVO (sal vo)
n. a gigantic burp


  FAULX
what a rock climber says when he loses his balance.


  THROMBASH
a gathering of trombone players.



But they never did decide whether a LATRANT was the sound made by Tibetan monks or a temper tantrum thrown in or near a French latrine.....
Or whether in fact it is a small insect that crawls across your foot whilst you are sitting on the loo

 

 

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